Being pregnant is something I always dreamed about. I have always wanted to be a Mother. Parents have always told me that the love you have for your child is like none other. I wanted to know that feeling. I wanted to have a baby to hold and love with my whole self. I wanted to feel needed. I knew that having a child would be my greatest accomplishment. I wanted to know that kind of love.
Shortly after Chris and I married we wanted a baby. It was an exhilarating feeling to know the love that we had and that we were going to create something miraculous. It didn't take long until my dream came true.
I found out that I was expecting on March 15, 2013. I was at work when I took the pregnancy test. Ideally, I wanted to be home with my husband when I found out, but I truly didn't think I would be pregnant. I knew that I wasn't losing any weight on the new Advocare diet I was trying. I simply thought the carbs in the energy drinks was holding me back. That's when Krystal, one of my best friends insisted that she and I take a pregnancy test just for fun. We did. Her test was negative and mine was positive. It was a surreal moment. Like it wasn't even really happening. The thought that it was so real took a while to sink in. I just starred at the test wondering if it was true. Chris called me on the phone while I was in the bathroom letting it all sink in. I wanted to wait until I got home to tell him, but he knew something was up. I couldn't hold it in. I told him over the phone reluctantly....I'M PREGNANT! We couldn't believe it. I was so overjoyed, so excited, but it just wouldn't sink in right away. Chris rushed to my office and we jumped up and down, hugged, squealed and enjoyed the moment. We call all of our family right away - on the office phone to announce that we are expecting a baby!!! Everyone was so overjoyed!
Shortly after finding out, we went to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy with a blood test. It was positive. We did an ultrasound and I was only 5 weeks pregnant. There wasn't a heartbeat yet. That was hard to wait another two weeks to do an ultrasound to see the heartbeat. Some babies heart beats right away, others it just takes a little more time. At 7 weeks, we saw the heartbeat. It was the most amazing feeling in the world to see a little flutter inside of me. I now had two heartbeats at once. Mine, and my babies. I knew at that moment that this was so real and was going to be the greatest thing in my life.
The first trimester was intense! It didn't take long for pregnancy symptoms to show up. I was craving lemons. And eating an abnormal amount of salt. I started feeling queasy and foods started to make me gag. At around 9 weeks pregnant, I could only eat certain things on certain days. The thought of anything else would make me so sick. One day I may want only biscuits. The next, only tortilla chips dipped in cold baked beans. Nothing would satisfy. Then came the nausea. It's not the normal nausea that comes with the stomach bug. This was its own type. A type that overtakes the whole body. Then, what I call "super smell" came. Just a whiff of something would make me vomit. Especially the smell of our house. It wasn't that it was dirty, it was just a smell. It is very hard to describe unless you have ever had the pregnancy super smell. Then, thoughts even started having smells. One day I thought that I needed to sweep around the fireplace - then, BOOM....vomit. The exhaustion along with the nausea was almost unbearable. But, I kept pushing on. I still went to work. I still tried to go along with life. All the while loving this baby inside of me with my whole being. At this point I really started to realize the effect pregnancy was going to have on me. The sacrifice and the love ran hand in hand. I began to bond. I began to feel like a mother.
